Starting from Square 1 – When All of Life Sucks

I recently came across a post in a group where a woman shared that she is in a low point of life right now. Nothing is where she wants it to be. I could totally relate, and if you find yourself in a place like that right now too, I want to share with you my response to her…

… I relate to your story. That was me a few years ago, when my son was a baby. The marriage, the house, my relationship with my son, my work, not having a social/support circle, depression… nothing felt good and I prayed almost every day for my angels to just take me away from the planet.

poopy

Life was poopy.

It’s been 3 or 3 1/2 years now and my life is completely different.

My marriage is stable, loving, and supportive. My house is company-ready almost all the time (still needs de-cluttering and more work, but we’ve come a HUGE way). My son and I are so sweetly bonded and I’m so much more patient and happy and loving with him – we go on adventures together on Wednesdays when he’s not in preschool, and we share snuggles all day long. I left my last job and started self-employment from home, which I do when my son is at school or at his grandparents’ house – it is hugely rewarding, even if the income isn’t what puts food on the table.

I have a beautiful social circle now, with a few friends I know I can go to whenever I need to, and we message almost every day, even if it’s just to say one random thing that happened. I learned a lot of healing modalities in these last few years and did mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical work with myself – the depression is gone, and I know it won’t be back again. I wanted to share these things with you because I wanted to point out that in just a few years, one’s life can be completely different. There is hope.

Here are a few things I did, incase they’re helpful for you.

I wrote my bucket list and a “100 Things I Want to Do This Year” list. And I started doing them, whether I had someone to join me or not. I included even little things like local restaurants I wanted to try or movies I wanted to see. I included things I’d like to take my son to, and we do them on our Wednesdays together. (Check out my bucket list program here: http://www.celebrateyourpath.com/gifts/ignite/)

I took classes through our public school’s community education class. On my own. Through them, I’ve done everything from Guitar for Beginners (which I still can’t get the hang of and that’s okay!), to Indian Cooking, to Restorative Yoga, to Juggling, and Bellydancing! It has been so enjoyable and has brought me back to my Self, my identity, and my independence!

I challenged myself to saying, “Yes,” to everything anyone invited me to, whether it was for lunch or to a Pampered Chef party, whether I wanted to or not. I challenged myself to it for 30 days, and then continued on because it only started gaining momentum at that point. (Check out my “Yes Ma’am Challenge” here: http://www.celebrateyourpath.com/gifts/yes-maam-challenge/)

I found a therapist I loved. I looked forward to appointments because it was an appropriate outlet for my emotions, and she helped me with awarenesses I wouldn’t have gotten to on my own.

I had readings with my psychic. Because I’m into that. (And now I do psychic readings for others too.) So that’s my jam.

I learned Reiki and other energetic healing and clearing modalities and worked through some of my big stuff. Big friendships came within my Reiki class. Big healing. Big learning. Big growth.

I wrote letters to my son and tucked them away into a box for him when he’s older. Just whenever the moment struck me, and just wrote about some of the things he’s doing or saying lately. Or something fun that happened, like Christmas or his birthday or a trip.

I started *really* listening to my husband. Not half-assed with the laptop on my lap at the same time. But really listening, and getting curious about him and his day, and asking him more questions to develop our conversations further.

I started telling my husband more about my inner thoughts and feelings. And I would let him know that it was hard for me to talk about things because they were my inner things, and I really needed him to be supportive and open-minded. He never failed me when I was vulnerably honest with him.

I used the concepts taught by FlyLady (flylady.net) for creating my own morning routine, afternoon routine, and evening routine. It only took me a month of sticking to those routines to have our house company-ready all the time. That made SUCH a huge difference in my head and heart!

I read. I prefer non-fiction self-development type books, and spirituality/healing/New Age type stuff, so I feel like I’m constantly growing. I follow my curiosity and interest at any given time, so there’s always something interesting to learn.

Those are what I can think of off the top of my head. You can do it. One foot in front of the other, stay committed to your soul, and before long, you’ll be looking back at amazement with how far you’ve come too. I love you!

P.S. If you’d like help moving towards your desires, let’s work together in one of my coaching programs!

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You’re not addicted to soda. You’re thirsty!

When I started coaching myself and guiding myself through the same process I would take a client, I had a number of realizations, revelations, and awarenesses. One of them was big. Like – saw-the-last-21-years-in-a-completely-new-light Big.

Soda.

Soda! The one addiction I’ve never been able to fully shake. Starting back when I was 15 years old and thought a Mountain Dew every day was the best thing on Earth. (Nowadays, Cherry Coke is my jam.) I’ve tried 30-day no-soda challenges, giving it up completely, cutting back, switching to caffeine-free soda, you name it. But… the cravings pull me back in.

So. I went on my coaching journey.

An important side note: my soda crush wasn’t even on my “out-of-balance” list; it wasn’t even on my radar. Which is a funny little thing about going through coaching – things often come to the surface quite naturally, even if you hadn’t consciously thought of them to begin with, as you start to move yourself towards more mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellness. In other words, when you decide to heal something, even more healing jumps on board the party bus.

During the first couple of steps in my self-coaching journey, I knew I needed a lot of focus on my physical self. I was experiencing excruciating back pain at the time, and obesity. Those were my top 2 areas I wanted to bring towards more balance.

As I designed my Wellness Plan and kept my daily wellness log, one of the things I wanted to work on was drinking 8 glasses of water a day. I know the benefits of drinking water – you hear about them and see articles about them all the time. (But knowing something is good for you doesn’t always make you do it, right?) I knew that drinking more water would help ground me, help me concentrate, aid my digestion and appetite, give me more energy, and help my organs function better. What I didn’t know was that it would completely zap my soda cravings.

Here’s the unexpected way that I found out.

One morning around 10:30 or 11 AM, I noticed that I was starting to crave a soda. I had only consumed 2 glasses of water by then, and since it was still morning (and I have a judgment about drinking soda in the morning), I told myself that I would not drink any before noon. Also, I have a standing deal with myself that I want to have 4 glasses of water in my system every day by noon. It helps me stay on top of my hydration goal. So I downed 2 glasses of water and went back to doing work.

Just after 12:00 noon, without really thinking, I had another glass of water, and then I remembered that I’d been craving a soda just a little while before that. To my surprise, not only was I not craving soda anymore, but I just plain didn’t want it! If someone would have offered me one right then, I would have turned it down – I was totally uninterested! This may not sound like a big deal, but to me it was! My craving had not just dissipated – it was in reverse. My body felt totally satisfied and had not even the tiniest of urges to drink any soda.

Water had totally satiated my body. I realized then that all this time, I’d been starving myself of water. My body had been calling out for it for decades – I wasn’t giving it enough! I tested out my theory over the next few weeks, and every single time, when I gave my body more water, my desire for soda totally, completely disappeared. The back-and-forth battle in my head about knowing it’s not good for me but desperately wanting it anyway totally, completely disappeared. The conclusion I came to was that I wasn’t addicted to soda. I was just thirsty!

Now, every single time I feel that soda craving kick up, my first thought is, “Oh! My body’s asking for water!” I take down as much as I feel I need right then and there, and then return to my life. I have not given up soda completely. I sometimes enjoy having it! I don’t feel that I need to give it up altogether. But what I thought was an addiction that I just couldn’t beat has turned out to simply be a realization that my body needs water.

There is no addiction here – just a need that is met easily, instantly, and healthfully.

If you relate to the soda cravings or self-proclaimed “soda addiction”, I invite you to try on this theory. Try on the practice of drinking 4 glasses of water by noon, and not having a soda until that water is in your system. Each time you feel a soda craving, drink 1-2 glasses of water first, and see if that helps. Just try it on and see if it fits. What have you got to lose?

you're not addicted to soda. you're thirsty.

You're not addicted to soda. You're thirsty.

P.S. Your own revelations and truths are waiting for you! Let’s work together to uncover them. Share This: Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailFacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

Self-discovery runs through my veins

Hello, my name is Amber, and I’m obsessed with self-discovery.

Amber Diehm Heuer

My mom has said, on several occasions, that I think too much.

My husband, at times when I have shared with him a weird and wonderful synchronicity, sign, symbol, whatever you want to call it, and how I feel that it relates to my life, has said, “I’m listening to you. It sounds cool. I just don’t understand it.”

(This is one of the beautiful things about family, by the way. They may not get us, but they still show up every day as our mom, our partner, etc. And they try again. Or they don’t. Either way is fine, because the point is they keep showing up as our family.)

Anyway, my loved ones can attest: I have always been searching. And thinking. Wandering and wondering.

I can’t even pinpoint a time when it started, but two of my [many] catalysts were when I started writing my bucket list (at age 25) and when I read the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. (There is also a (semi-cheesy) movie version of “The Secret”.)

My degree is in Social Work, and a great deal of the education and work within that field are based in psychology, sociology, culture. Self-discovery!

Since I (with intention) began my spiritual journey in 2013, I’ve encountered countless theories about what God is, about the Soul, about Purpose, about healing, about why things happen. Self-discovery!

And when I dove into the curriculum to become a certified integrative coach, I unlocked a chest full of new tools and awarenesses. Self-discovery!

To me, it’s fascinating. Each time you uncover something and fit that piece together with another, it’s like finding clues to a mystery. That’s not just thrilling – it’s hugely rewarding. Because it means that life makes more sense. When life makes more sense, it becomes a lot easier. Lighter. A lot more cozy. You can breathe again. You can smile. You can even laugh.

It hasn’t always been so for me. How about you?

That’s why I’m so passionate about self-discovery. Because, quite simply, it makes life better.

Join me, starting February 7th, 2017, for Total Transformation, an 8-week whole-life integrative coaching program that provides the tools, support, and resources for you to set and achieve goals, move towards wellness and balance, and overcome negative patterns. The program is holistic – that is, it helps you move towards your desired outcomes in all four aspects of your Self: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Register here: http://www.celebrateyourpath.com/coaching/total-transformation/

Total Transformation

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