Starting from Square 1 – When All of Life Sucks

I recently came across a post in a group where a woman shared that she is in a low point of life right now. Nothing is where she wants it to be. I could totally relate, and if you find yourself in a place like that right now too, I want to share with you my response to her…

… I relate to your story. That was me a few years ago, when my son was a baby. The marriage, the house, my relationship with my son, my work, not having a social/support circle, depression… nothing felt good and I prayed almost every day for my angels to just take me away from the planet.

poopy

Life was poopy.

It’s been 3 or 3 1/2 years now and my life is completely different.

My marriage is stable, loving, and supportive. My house is company-ready almost all the time (still needs de-cluttering and more work, but we’ve come a HUGE way). My son and I are so sweetly bonded and I’m so much more patient and happy and loving with him – we go on adventures together on Wednesdays when he’s not in preschool, and we share snuggles all day long. I left my last job and started self-employment from home, which I do when my son is at school or at his grandparents’ house – it is hugely rewarding, even if the income isn’t what puts food on the table.

I have a beautiful social circle now, with a few friends I know I can go to whenever I need to, and we message almost every day, even if it’s just to say one random thing that happened. I learned a lot of healing modalities in these last few years and did mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical work with myself – the depression is gone, and I know it won’t be back again. I wanted to share these things with you because I wanted to point out that in just a few years, one’s life can be completely different. There is hope.

Here are a few things I did, incase they’re helpful for you.

I wrote my bucket list and a “100 Things I Want to Do This Year” list. And I started doing them, whether I had someone to join me or not. I included even little things like local restaurants I wanted to try or movies I wanted to see. I included things I’d like to take my son to, and we do them on our Wednesdays together. (Check out my bucket list program here: http://www.celebrateyourpath.com/gifts/ignite/)

I took classes through our public school’s community education class. On my own. Through them, I’ve done everything from Guitar for Beginners (which I still can’t get the hang of and that’s okay!), to Indian Cooking, to Restorative Yoga, to Juggling, and Bellydancing! It has been so enjoyable and has brought me back to my Self, my identity, and my independence!

I challenged myself to saying, “Yes,” to everything anyone invited me to, whether it was for lunch or to a Pampered Chef party, whether I wanted to or not. I challenged myself to it for 30 days, and then continued on because it only started gaining momentum at that point. (Check out my “Yes Ma’am Challenge” here: http://www.celebrateyourpath.com/gifts/yes-maam-challenge/)

I found a therapist I loved. I looked forward to appointments because it was an appropriate outlet for my emotions, and she helped me with awarenesses I wouldn’t have gotten to on my own.

I had readings with my psychic. Because I’m into that. (And now I do psychic readings for others too.) So that’s my jam.

I learned Reiki and other energetic healing and clearing modalities and worked through some of my big stuff. Big friendships came within my Reiki class. Big healing. Big learning. Big growth.

I wrote letters to my son and tucked them away into a box for him when he’s older. Just whenever the moment struck me, and just wrote about some of the things he’s doing or saying lately. Or something fun that happened, like Christmas or his birthday or a trip.

I started *really* listening to my husband. Not half-assed with the laptop on my lap at the same time. But really listening, and getting curious about him and his day, and asking him more questions to develop our conversations further.

I started telling my husband more about my inner thoughts and feelings. And I would let him know that it was hard for me to talk about things because they were my inner things, and I really needed him to be supportive and open-minded. He never failed me when I was vulnerably honest with him.

I used the concepts taught by FlyLady (flylady.net) for creating my own morning routine, afternoon routine, and evening routine. It only took me a month of sticking to those routines to have our house company-ready all the time. That made SUCH a huge difference in my head and heart!

I read. I prefer non-fiction self-development type books, and spirituality/healing/New Age type stuff, so I feel like I’m constantly growing. I follow my curiosity and interest at any given time, so there’s always something interesting to learn.

Those are what I can think of off the top of my head. You can do it. One foot in front of the other, stay committed to your soul, and before long, you’ll be looking back at amazement with how far you’ve come too. I love you!

P.S. If you’d like help moving towards your desires, let’s work together in one of my coaching programs!

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Bucket List Item #167: Adorn myself in Henna

I spent the weekend at the annual Iowa Metaphysical Fair, which is my one Do-Not-Miss event of the year. Yesterday I browsed through all the vendors, did a little shopping, and tried two things I’ve never had done before – hand analysis (palm reading) and chakra clearing. Going into them not knowing what to expect, both were fascinating experiences. Every time you try something new, your brain and your heart expand with an ever-growing realm of possibilities. I love that!

Today I was there to help my friend, Angel Lynn. She was a vendor there, doing psychic readings. She had plenty of help, so I took a few minutes and headed over to a booth I’d seen yesterday: a woman doing Henna designs. Bucket List Item #167!

She did a simple one for me of a couple of lotus flowers on a vine that stretched from the nail of my middle finger to a couple inches below my wrist. She explained that the mixture she was using would dry within about 10-15 minutes, and eventually would start to fall off, leaving behind the stain on the skin of the design. She said it could last up to 2 weeks. Now I’m itching to learn how to do this myself!

My Henna design

I have a post on facebook where I want to see YOUR Henna. If you’ve ever had it done, go there and share a photo! Look for this post…

Show Me Your Henna post

I’ve checked this off my bucket list! WOOHOO!

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What I Want My Son to Know

“Eat foods, be big and strong like MOM!” my 2-year old exclaimed at dinner, using his deepest voice. He reached his little arms up above his head to show just how big and strong he could be if he ate a healthy dinner.

What surprised me was that I have never described myself to him as “big and strong.” That was all him. It made me realize that he is watching, drawing conclusions and forming his understanding of my identity, and what’s more – his identity, all on his own. That’s amazing to me! And in some ways, it’s a little frightening too. It’s a heavy burden we parents carry, to always model our best selves.

I think a lot about what I want to teach my son. When I’m gone, what do I want him to remember? Who is the Mom I want him to picture? What are the values and beliefs I want him to carry about me, and even more importantly, about himself?

My son is like me, in so many ways. Holding his picture up next to my 2-year picture, we could be twins. But inside too – he has a tender and sensitive heart. He is a little skittish anytime we enter a new place, with new people. He is usually pretty serious and quiet.

I grew up painfully shy and timid. It wasn’t until I was in my second year of college when I finally began to break through that, but even now as a 30-something, I find myself in situations where I have to pry that shy girl inside away from the door frame.

But I’m really proud of myself. I have come a long, long way. No doubt I still have fear, hangups, and reservations. I still over-think. I still have a tendency to downplay opportunities and my interest in them. But I’m now a woman who takes chances, who doesn’t let others dictate her life, who thinks for herself, and who gives it a shot, just because I want to. While I am not one to gloat, I believe in myself. I know I am truly capable of anything.

Years ago, I started writing my bucket list. It has evolved into a list of over 160 items, some checked off, some in the works, others still a “someday.” It excites me – not just all the possibilities out there, but that I am confident in going after them.

I spent most of my life as a shy, fearful girl. But I learned that I have the ability to change. I have grown into a strong, capable woman who can and will achieve whatever my heart desires. And THAT is the mom, woman, and person that I want my son to know and remember. That is what I model for him – that you can be and do anything you want, no matter what you start with or what you have or who you think you are, or who anyone else thinks you are.

Just like the healthy foods we eat for dinner, this important affirmation will help him grow big and strong. Like Mom.

Mowing grass

Ready to write your bucket list? Then don’t miss Ignite Your Dreams: The Bucket List Quest.

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